Obituary in the London Times
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved
old friend, Common Sense
,who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was,
since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will
be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
- Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
- Why the early bird gets the worm;
- Life isn't always fair;
- And maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend
more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are
in charge).
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but
overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy
charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from
school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding
an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing
the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly
children.
He declined even further when schools were required to get parental
consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not
inform parents when a
student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to
live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received
better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating
when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home
and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed
to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in
her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death,
-by his parents, Truth and Trust,
-by his wife, Discretion,
-by his daughter, Responsibility,
-and by his son, Reason.
He is survived by his 5 stepbrothers;
- I Know My Rights
- I Want It Now
- Someone Else Is To Blame
- I'm A Victim
- Pay me for Doing Nothing
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.
If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority
and do nothing.
,who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was,
since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will
be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
- Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
- Why the early bird gets the worm;
- Life isn't always fair;
- And maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend
more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are
in charge).
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but
overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy
charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from
school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding
an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing
the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly
children.
He declined even further when schools were required to get parental
consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not
inform parents when a
student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to
live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received
better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating
when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home
and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed
to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in
her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death,
-by his parents, Truth and Trust,
-by his wife, Discretion,
-by his daughter, Responsibility,
-and by his son, Reason.
He is survived by his 5 stepbrothers;
- I Know My Rights
- I Want It Now
- Someone Else Is To Blame
- I'm A Victim
- Pay me for Doing Nothing
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.
If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority
and do nothing.
Excellent post - thanks for sharing it with us. I have to say I do wonder about the craziness of the world we live in now, this post just confirms it.
ReplyDeleteYou know it is good when I read it out loud to anyone who will listen.
ReplyDeleteThat is excellent, I shall pass it on to my walking friends!
ReplyDeleteCorrect - it's brilliant.
ReplyDeleteLove from Mum
xx
Sadly how true....
ReplyDeleteGreat post and one the we should all take to heart.
ReplyDeleteLove this. I would like to print it out and pin it to my cubicle wall at work, but alas I would be told off as it may offend someone.
ReplyDeleteAs a teacher and fellow human being, I thank you for this. Sadly, it is so true! I shall post it on my blog :-)
ReplyDeleteI agree with most of this except the coffee spilling incident - watch the documentary Hot Coffee - very interesting. (get it from the library)
ReplyDeletethis is all very sadly true xx
ReplyDeleteAll so true. Would be interesting to know who wrote this. Any idea?
ReplyDeleteNo idea at all Sarina.
Delete"the early bird gets the worm;"
ReplyDeleteYes, but it's the late mouse that gets the cheese.
The stepbrother bit about "Pay Me For Doing Nothing". You'd imagine that may well be aimed at people claiming benefits and not wanting to find work, but I'd just like to also mention the sheer idleness of some of the people I have 'worked' with who appear incredulous at turning up at their place of employment and are expected to actually.....work.
ReplyDeleteShocking.
Great post though sir.